Resources & Checklists for Pet Loss Grief

After writing Samson’s Story, I realized some quick checklists would be helpful to share more broadly which is why I’ve included them here on this website. If you have additional resources to share or are looking for information, don’t hesitate to reach out via the Contact page!

Dos & Don’ts

    • Start with a good cry once you learn the news that your pet doesn’t have much time.

    • Make a commitment to yourself and your pet that you will be present and stay as positive as possible.

    • Decide on a treatment (or non-treatment) plan ASAP. This might include surgeries, medicine, supplements, or a special diet.

    • Add safety measures to your pet’s area (especially blocking off any stairways they may fall into).

    • Practice mindfulness with your dog. While sitting next to them, share why you are grateful and specific reasons you love them so much.

    • Make a final bucket list and start crossing off those items.

    • Acknowledge that things won’t be perfect, and commit to going with the flow.

    • Take photos and videos anytime you want to capture a memory or something unique your pet does that you want to look back on. Err on more vs less photos and videos.

    • Start telling others what you’re going through, which will help you process the coming loss.

    • Ask for help from friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

    • Make an end-of-life plan, which includes the decision on whether or not to euthanize your pet.

    • Take care of yourself, which includes getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, and limiting alcohol.

    • Honor your pet’s legacy through a memorial service, tattoo, keepsake, and/or anything else that reminds you of the good times with them.

    • Be open to lookin for signs from your pet.

    • Spend time with animals - whether your other pets, new pets, friends’ pets, or animals at a shelter that would love to spend an afternoon with you.

    • Handle the administrative items like contacting your vet and Chewy to let them know your pet has passed away.

    • Consider therapy, facebook support groups, or reading books on grief and loss as you work through your own healing journey.

    • Find a few friends, colleagues, or family members with whom you can continue talking about your pet.

    • Consider sharing a tribute on this website!

Resources for Family & Friends

  • DO SAY:

    • I’m sorry to hear of your pet’s passing.

    • I’m here for you.

    • If I can do anything to help or if you just want to talk, let me know.

    DO NOT SAY:

    • At least they lived a good long life.

    • At least they’re not in pain or suffering any longer.

    • You did the right thing.

    • It’s a good thing you have other fur babies to love.

    • When will you adopt your next pet?

    • You can always get another one.

    • They were just a dog or cat, thankfully.

    • I know how much you loved your pet.

    • I know how you feel.

  • DO:

    • Just listen.

    • Share your favorite memories of their pet.

    • Look for old pictures you might never have shown your friend - it is a lovely gift to receive fond memories of your dog or cat that maybe you’ve never seen before.

    • Offer specific ways of helping, such as cleaning their house, cooking or sending a meal, or providing child care so they can spend more time with an ailing pet.

    • Ask your friend multiple times how they are doing, as it can take weeks and months to process a heartbreaking loss like this.

    • If you would like to send something, a gift certificate for food delivery, house cleaning, or a personalized Etsy gift is ideal.

    DON’T:

    • Say the things listed in the “Don’t” guidelines above!

    • Send flowers, as some people do not want to watch flowers die during this time.

    • Walk on eggshells, as it’s best to address the situation head on and talk about it openly.